Nag Nag

This is going to be a somewhat angry and whiney post, so if you’re not up for it, just skip it and wait for my next post about happier times here in Mexico. Next week I should be good…

For those of you who stayed, a short introduction to the problem: D. has been gone for, oh, about 15 weeks over the last 25 weeks (my Skype admin doesn’t go further back…). He leaves on Sunday and returns one or two Saturdays later. Usually worn out and tired. Effectively, he had 9 full weekends to himself (or should I say ourselves?). Unfortunately he does not get compensated for the time he spends on busses or planes in the weekend, so he cannot delay the weekend or anything.

Although I was kind of fine with it for the first 20 weeks, the last 5 have been freaking tough. And, let me tell you, I have had ENOUGH. Actually, I have had MORE THAN ENOUGH!

During the day it is not such a big deal. I have plenty to keep me busy. The real problem is being alone at night and during the weekends. I eat alone (hate it), spend my evenings alone and sleep alone.

When I was single, I did that every day for years on end. The difference is that when the walls were closing in on me in Amsterdam, I had a lot of options. I could go to my favorite pub and chat. Or I would call a girlfriend and we’d have dinner or go see a movie or hang out in the park or something. Or I’d work and maybe go out for a bite to eat with colleagues afterwards. Or I’d have takeaway from the many (healthier) places in town.

Most of these options are not available here and now. The language barrier is starting to catch up with me and even though I like Mexico, I find it incredibly hard to live here by myself without a specific goal.

Why don’t I go with him you wonder? Well, he is based in Ciudad del Carmen (645 km or 9 hours by bus). Which may be an ok town to live in, but it has rather little to do (understatement) for people that are ‘holidaying’ in their hotels for weeks on end. Granted, they have nice beaches but a horrible rain-season; not a great combination. Anything worth seeing is a minimum of 3 hours away. Also, the internet in the hotel is so excruciatingly slow, I cannot do what I now do to keep myself busy (I’ll elaborate in another post). Furthermore, I would worry about leaving our house empty for such long stretches at the time.

I’ve had ample time to think about what went wrong. Mostly D’s job turned out to be completely different from the one he was offered. There are valid reasons for this, but still, I never expected it to turn out this bad. D. is doing project work (which he loves), sweatshop style: the contract calls for him to do the work on-site from Monday 8 am till Friday 6 pm. They did negotiate in the summer that D. would travel on Mondays and Fridays and put in a minimum of 40 hours while in Carmen. It was all in black and white, but after the first time D. did so, the client started screaming and threatening he wouldn’t pay the bill. Pfff, that Carmen guy is an egotripping, macho _ _, sure, but apparently there is nothing D. can do about it. [Expletives deleted]

Secondly, had we known it was going to turn out like this, we would never have moved to Mexico. Living here is a (in itself fun) challenge, but so much more bearable when you can laugh together over stupid mistakes or funny situations. Or talk about the scary bits, like when the police ring your doorbell to tell you to keep the gate locked because there have been a lot of robberies lately. Or process the information about all these dead people they keep finding. You know, that thing called sharing. And since we have been married for less than a year (still) we actually like hanging out together.

And, even though D. loves doing the projects, he’s also tired of all the travelling and hotel rooms and the crappy deal. He also misses me, though lately I expect not so much because of my nagging and the tantrums…

Fortunately there is light at the end of the tunnel! This really and finally should be the last week D. is working on this project. Everybody says so. And he will never have to return to Carmen to do a project, ever again. At least he will not have to travel during the weekends anymore. A presentation on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday is fine, but other than that, no way, Jose. I’d say he’s given enough of his free time to the company.

And if they try to make him, he promised to say the words I have been wanting to say since June: go _ _ yourself. Of course, he will rephrase it, but hopefully so that they still will get the right idea. [Expletives deleted]

So honey, enjoy your last week in Carmen because it is the last week. And finish that _ _ project! I miss you. [Expletives deleted]

[Expletives deleted]


10 thoughts on “Nag Nag

  1. I feel for you, getting a dog doesn’t solve your problem cause then you are more tied down. But I live for my canine companion as a matter of fact I am getting another this weekend. Phly is getting old (11 people years)and I want a puppy to learn her good traits. Enjoy your time with D after this week and don’t sweat it we all nag and throw tantrums.

    • We did think about having a dog, but chose not to for the reason you mentioned. Really great news about the puppy though and yes, Phly is the perfect dog to teach a little one. And uhm… I normally do not nag or throw tantrums haha 😉

  2. I feel your pain and know how hard it is settling in to a new community and way of life having left your friends and family behind and to have to do this 90% of the time on your own must be really tough. I truly hope that the weekly travelling is now a thing of the past for both of you! Have a lovely weekend

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