Today I am standing before a big task and I need to mentally prepare myself. Apparently part of the preparation is writing to you about it, as I am alone in the house and no one is here to listen to my worries, questions, complaints, etc. The task that lays ahead means that I have to destroy habitats and kill thousands and thousands of bodies. I am preparing for war and I intend to win it.
It seems that overnight millions of ants have taken up residence in our garden. The day before yesterday it was more or less ant-free. Yesterday all these sand dunes popped up from the ground and the nasty little critters tried to devour me when I walked unsuspectingly on the grass. I took that as a declaration of war.
I really don’t know how it happened or where they came from. Really, where do they come from? I can imagine a little ant wandering around, thinking of starting a nest of his/her own, but to have 30 nests in one day? That has not happened to me before. I am pretty happy to share my backyard with a few of them, but this enormous amount is just too much. So they have to go.
This is the plan of attack:
I need weapons of mass destruction and there are several I can choose from. I am keeping the poison as a last resort. I rejected the ‘flooding with cold water’ method, as in my experience that does not work. I am going to try the ‘flooding with boiling water’ method; that seems to work in Holland and I am going to give it a try.
You may think this is a dishonest battle. After all I am bigger than them. I have to correct you there. I may be bigger than one of them, but if you compare their volume against mine, I am sure they win.
So here it goes. Keep your fingers crossed. If you do not hear back from me soon, something went horribly wrong…